Barth’s “Rules for Older People in Relation to Younger”
A Late Friendship: The Letters of Karl Barth and Carl Zuckmayer (Translated by Geoffrey W. Bromiley; Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1982), 45.
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- Realize that younger people of both sexes, whether relatives or close in other ways, have a right to go their own ways according to their own (and not your) principles, ideas, and desires, to gain their own experiences, and to find happiness in their own (and not your) fashion.
- Do not force upon them, then, your own example or wisdom or inclinations or favors.
- Do not bind them in any way to yourself or put them under any obligation.
- Do not be surprised or annoyed or upset if you necessarily find that they have no time, or little time, for you, that no matter how well-intentioned you may be toward them, or sure of your cause, you sometimes inconvenience and bore them, and they casually ignore you and your counsel.
- When they act in this way, remember penitently that in your own youth you, too, perhaps (or probably) acted in the same way toward the older authorities of the time.
- Be grateful for every proof of genuine notice and serious confidence they show you, but do not expect or demand such proofs.
- Never in any circumstances give them up, but even as you let them go their own way, go with them in a relaxed and cheerful manner, trusting that God will do what is best for them, and always supporting and praying for them.
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Comments
BTW. I've re-posted it on my Paternal Life blog at http://paternallife.wordpress.com/2008/04/14/barth%e2%80%99s-rules-for-older-people-in-relation-to-younger/
I'm not sure how many young people feel "bound" even to basic respect for older people, much less to honor older people for the wisdom that they have gained over the years (and listen to them!). I wish that younger people would spend time with older folks, not as an obligation, but as an opportunity to learn and grow. The day that our society quits viewing older people as a burden, those whose productive days have passed, we will be making some genuine progress.
- Don't be surprised that young people don't want to hear you talk about your health problems. As your body ages it will start to fail in various ways, don't deceive yourself into thinking that the course of nature constitutes news.