A Spoof on Stewardship

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I found this photocopied in my files. It is dated May 15, 1978, and was authored by Kent I. Groff, then pastor of Waynesboro Church in Waynesboro PA. I presume that I photocopied it out of some publication, but I have no idea what that publication may have been. In any case, it's pretty funny and I wanted to share it. If anyone knows who published it, I would be interested in hearing from you. Also, if you hold copyrights to this document and aren't happy that I have posted it, contact me and I will be happy to take it down.

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"A Spoof on Stewardship"

I'd like to give to the church, Lord,
But you see I'm still in diapers,
And I don't have any money of my own.
I'm sure you understand.

I'd like to give to the church, Lord,
But you see I'm just a toddler,
And I haven't learned to count yet.
I'm sure you understand.

I'd like to give to the church, Lord,
But Daddy only gives me a nickel allowance
And 10 percent would be half a penny.
I'm sure you understand.

I'd like to give to the church, Lord,
But Mom says to save the money for college,
Though $3.50 at the movies seems only fair so I won't be a square.
I'm sure you understand.

I'd like to give to the church, Lord,
But now that I'm on a college scholarship
It would be unfair to give a tithe when some are helping me.
I'm sure you understand.

I'd like to give to the church, Lord,
But I just got married and setting up a home
Has to be number one priority: payments and everything.
I'm sure you understand.

I'd like to give to the church, Lord,
But you see raising a family's more expensive than I thought,
And I never know when I'll be laid off or on strike.
I'm sure you understand.

I'd like to give to the church, Lord,
But a college education these days is more than ever.
My mission's to my kids for the next 10 years.
I'm sure you understand.

I'd like to give to the church, Lord,
But retirement's come for both of us,
And you know what it's like to live on a fixed income.
I'm sure you understand.

I'd like to give to the church, Lord,
But now the will is all drawn up and though I forgot the church,
I'm sure my kids will take care of it the way I always wanted to.
I'm sure you understand.

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